


and many a song

by alkjira



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, FemBagginshield Week 2013, Female Bilbo Baggins/Female Thorin Oakenshield, Rule 63, fem!Bilbo, fem!Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Thorin are awkward. What else is new in Middle-earth, oh, except breasts. Which aren't actually mentioned in the story... Not really. But udders are! (please note that neither Dwarfs nor Hobbits have udders in this story, and no, not Gandalf either)</p>
            </blockquote>





	and many a song

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this on my lunch break because I really want to post it!
> 
> This is written for FemBagginshield Week 2013, which is something you should get involved with. Especially if you've got a tumblr because then you can just head here: http://fembagginshield.tumblr.com/
> 
> Or you can be like me and not have a tumblr and just post things here ^^ Maybe not on your lunch break, that's not really something I should be encouraging *looks guilty*

“Our burglar is quite nice, isn’t she, a decent sort.”

“And pretty,” Fíli agreed with his brother who snorted.

“ _You_ only like her because she's blonde like yourself. You’ve -”

“I do not,” Fíli protested. “She’s got sweet eyes.”

Thorin, who rode just behind the pair, rolled hers. Their burglar did indeed have pretty eyes, but she hoped that it wasn’t enough to get both of her sister-sons infatuated with the Hobbit. Although, their burglar also had -  
  
Kíli laughed and cupped his hands in front of his chest.  
  
“She’s got -”  
  
“That’s quite enough,” Thorin said, cutting into her nephews’ conversation. Her cheeks were not at all attempting to pink. The Hobbit had an appealing _smile_ , that was what she’d been considering. Not anything as crude as what Kíli was suggesting.  
  
Thorin glanced back to see if Bilbo was at a sufficient distance away and missed seeing the sly glance the young Dwarfs exchanged.  
  
Satisfied that their burglar was out of earshot - she was riding at the end of their little caravan with Bofur (and what _was_ the miner telling her to make her laugh like that?) - Thorin turned back to give her nephews a stern look. “What would your mother think if she heard you?”  
  
“That we’ve been spending too much time around you and Dwalin again,” Kíli said cheekily and ducked when Thorin tried to cuff the back of his head.  
  
“Ride up ahead and scout,” she commanded, raising an eyebrow at the groans she got in response.  
  
“But we’re still in the Shire,” Fíli argued. “There are just fields and cows, cows and fields. And the occasional sheep and glaring Hobbit to liven things up. There is no need to scout.”  
  
Kíli was more frank. “And it’s boring.”  
  
“Ride ahead and _scout_ ,” Thorin repeated, more slowly and with more emphasis. “And I would think you would be thrilled to see so many cows. Shouldn’t their ample udders give equally ample chance for conversation? And I think even the pair of you won’t be able to offend a _cow_ with your chatter. ”  
  
“-not go as planned,” Kíli muttered to Fíli as they urged their ponies pick up the pace. It was low enough that Thorin almost didn’t hear it, and while her ears _did_ register the words they were a bit busy at the time trying to decide why Bilbo’s tinkling laughter was both annoying and charming at the same time.

-  
  
Humming softly to herself, Thorin ran the whetstone down the length of her sword. It probably wasn’t needed - the Elves might be untrustworthy grass-eaters, but they knew more than a thing or two about forging blades that never dulled (even if it was cheating to use magic) – but the work was soothing. Not to mention a good distraction from _other_ distractions…

“That’s the song you sang.”  
  
Surprised, Thorin turned her head to look at their burglar who sat crossed-legged by the fire, a bunch of long sticks held across her lap. _On the subject of distractions_ , Thorin mused, trying not to notice just how much of a pale leg was visible when Bilbo’s skirts stretched like that. Why hadn’t anyone offered her trousers yet? Or would that just make things worse…?

Bilbo blushed a bit at the sudden attention. Did Thorin really have to look at her that intently? How was she supposed to get over this silly crush if - _Nevertheless_ , it wouldn’t do to just stare stupidly at the Dwarf, no matter how blue her eyes were.  
  
Bilbo cleared her throat. “The night you spent beneath my roof,” she clarified. “That was the song you all sang.” Humming a little of the melody she searched for the words. “Far over the mountains.” Bilbo frowned. “No, that was not how it went.”  
  
“Sing for us, aunt,” Kíli called and Thorin was content to ignore him; practice made perfect after all, but-  
  
“Would you?” Bilbo asked and then immediately turned her gaze down to the branches she was tying together. Why had she asked? Thorin would likely think her nosy and rude. The knot she had been trying to secure slipped away for the third time and Bilbo bit back a curse.  
  
Troll snot apparently didn’t go without a fight; this would be the third time she had washed her coat, and this time there was no conveniently located bush close to the fire to hang it on. And it _needed_ to be close to the fire or the cool mountain air would ensure that the dratted thing would still be damp in the morn; as such there was a definite need for a clotheshorse, however crudely made.  
  
“It’s such beautiful song. Sad, but sadness wasn’t really the purpose. I think it was part of why I decided to join you.”  
  
“How so?” Bofur’s question made Bilbo start slightly and blink at the Dwarf sitting on the opposite side of the fire. Distracted by the way the string Dori had given her wouldn’t cooperate the Hobbit hadn’t really been aware that she’d continued to speak out loud.  
  
“Oh,” Bilbo fiddled with the stubborn pieces of wood. This was rather embarrassing, but she had only herself to blame. “Well,” she began slowly. “It’s clearly a song of remembrance, and I guess I was afraid that you wouldn’t remember _me_. Or that you would just remember me as the silly little Hobbit who fainted at the very mention of a Dragon. Of course that is not the only reason why I came,” she rushed to explain. “Not at all. I - _Oh_.”  
  
As she began to sing Thorin very carefully did not think about the reasons a Hobbit could have for following thirteen unknown Dwarfs and one Wizard half-way across Middle-earth. And she especially did not dwell on if any of the reasons could also make said Hobbit consider staying ( _a while, a year, a lifetime_ ) after the quest was done and Erebor was reclaimed.  
  
Thorin still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t better for Bilbo to go back to Rivendell, where she would be safe from Trolls, Orcs and Wargs. Mahal only knew why Gandalf had decided that they needed a burglar for in the first place. Erebor was a little too large to burgle away, even if Bilbo managed to sneak past the dragon unnoticed.  
  
Amongst the other things that Thorin carefully did not think about was what could happen if Bilbo _couldn’t_ manage to sneak past Smaug without being seen. Thoughts like that were even more maddening (albeit for a very different reason) than the considerations of just how her spare pair of trousers would fit over Bilbo’s pleasantly rounded hips and backside.

-  
  
"We are _not_ doing this here. Your nephews are right over _there_ ," Bilbo hissed. "We should by all rights not be doing anything before another month has passed. It’s not proper."  
  
Despite her words, the Hobbit did not exactly struggle as Thorin pressed kisses all along her neck. In fact, Bilbo might actually have tilted her head to better make room. It _wasn’t_ proper, not at all, but she dared anyone to try and resist when the object of _their_ hopeless, unrequited feelings decided to nibble on them like they were starving for a taste. _After_ the both of them had nearly died, _twice_.  
  
Besides, it wasn’t like Fíli and Kíli could see them after all. And perhaps it was just silly to try and follow proper courtship protocol for Hobbits when the other party involved was a Dwarf. A Dwarf with an extremely talented mouth and much too clever fingers…

Thorin huffed out a low laugh and nipped lightly at the place where she could feel Bilbo’s pulse beating beneath the smooth ( _pretty, pearly, perfect_ ) skin. “Need I make my views on propriety known again?" Though she had a feeling that the hand that was feeling its way up Bilbo’s thigh was a pretty good indication of her thoughts on the subject.

"My dear lady, I think we are all getting well acquainted with your views on such matters," Gandalf said drily as he stepped out from behind a large rock that neither Hobbit nor Dwarf was even sure had been there a moment before. All the same, the rock likely did not appear out of any other magic than the distractedness caused by two people almost dying and then admitting their feelings for each other. That was after all what had prompted Thorin to drag Bilbo behind one of the admittedly many rocks at the foot of the Carrock - once she had made sure that everyone in the Company was still in one piece of course.  
  
(That she planned to do a more thorough investigation of Bilbo’s bits and pieces… well, that was her private business. Or so she’d thought.)  
  
As soon as Gandalf had spoken Bilbo had scrambled backwards from Thorin; an appealing blush rising to her cheeks as she rushed to refasten buttons Thorin had worked so hard on opening. (It was quite possible Hobbits made buttons ridiculously small on purpose to drive you mad when trying to opening them without ripping anything.)  
  
“Gandalf,” Bilbo sputtered. “I didn’t think that a _Wizard_ -“ Here Gandalf raised a bushy eyebrow and Bilbo swallowed the rest of that sentence, especially the parts about peeping toms.  “Would it kill you to make some noise when you walk?” she offered instead.  
  
“It might kill _us_ if our aunt doesn’t _stop_ making noises,” Kíli hollered in the background.  
  
“I’ve been asked to let you know that noise carries quite well in this place,” Gandalf said placidly, but Bilbo imagined that only a blind duck would have trouble seeing the amusement in the Wizard’s wrinkly face.  
  
Under her breath Thorin muttered something about Wizards running errands for foolish little boys, but like Bilbo she was wise enough to not speak such thoughts out loud. Instead she merely grunted and got to her feet.

"Fine." The Dwarf reached out a hand to help the now decently buttoned Hobbit get upright as well. “But I’m still sharing your bedroll before we have to set out again,” she added to Bilbo.

"For _sleeping_ ," Bilbo said overly loud to drown out the chorus (was it a chorus if it they were just two?) of complaints coming from Fíli and Kíli.  "And I don't even _have_ a bedroll anymore. Funny what you will lose when Goblins, Wargs and Orcs are chasing you".

“Don’t worry, Bilbo! Thorin lost her sense of humour long before now.”

“It’s fortunate that Dís has two sons,” Thorin said as they walked into view of the rest of the Company. “The heir. And the _spare_.” The grin Thorin directed towards Kíli could just marginally be called a grin. It was mostly just a lot of teeth.  
  
Fíli casually inched away from his brother who gave him an injured look before turning his big brown eyes on his aunt. To his credit Kíli quickly released that it wouldn’t work, so instead he looked pleadingly at Bilbo.  
  
“Bilbo, you know I’m just jesting?”  
  
“Kíli,” Bilbo said as she sat down on the ground next to Balin, pulling Thorin down next to her. At Bilbo’s warm smile Kíli perked up and he leaned forward with a bright grin. A grin that melted away when Bilbo finished her sentence: “Do shut up.”  
  
Thorin snaked her arm around Bilbo’s waist and pressed a kiss to the curls covering her right ear.  
  
“I knew there was a good reason I loved you,” she murmured.  
  
“Yes,” Bilbo said and rolled her eyes. “Verbal abuse of family members just pulls them in every time. It’s lucky I only thought of this _now_ or I would surely have strained something from beating off all those admirers. ”  
  
Fíli and Kíli snickered, as did Bofur, but where Thorin’s glare was enough to silence her nephews it didn’t work nearly as well on Bofur. Not at all in fact.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry, lass,” the miner chuckled. “But that was a poor choice of words.”  
  
Bilbo blinked at him, once, twice, before her cheeks coloured anew and she hid her head in her hands. “I didn’t mean beat off as in - You are all just. Argh!”  
  
“Aren’t you going to scold Bofur and warn him that you’ll tell his mother?” Fíli teased and Thorin shook her head.  
  
“Of course not,” she said and pulled Bilbo more firmly to her side. “He is a grown Dwarf. That would be a poor threat.” Bilbo’s skirt had again gotten hiked up and Thorin allowed herself to place her hand over the lightly furred shin. “I can however threaten him with _your_ mother.”  
  
Thorin was fairly sure that Dís would be pleased with how fast Bofur stopped laughing.


End file.
